When it comes to fiction writing, lately I've been struggling.
First I was totally committed to writing one novel. Oh, but no. Then I decided that I absolutely, positively was in love with a different idea. Until I desperately needed to work on yet a third idea, the best one yet! This has been my fiction-writing life for the last few months, a little attention here, a bit of attention there, which adds up to a whole lot of nothing.
Have I ever mentioned how unhappy I get when I'm not writing fiction? I exist in a semi-miserable state of dullness when I'm not fully engaged in a fictional world. So it was vital that I get going on a novel. And yet, every time I started in again, I'd do the same thing. Commit to one idea for a bit, then another, then another.
Part of it, I'm sure, stemmed from uncertainty about my completed novel. I'm in the process of marketing it to agents, which is not for the faint of heart. (Honestly? I understand why the traditional publishing industry is imploding: many agents are so overworked they won't even bother to reply to your queries. What's wrong with this picture? Don't the agents rely on writers for their jobs? Can't they at least manage a polite no?) Repeatedly, I am being told a variation on this theme: love your writing, but your main character is not relateable enough. Oh, and get this–being a writer is one thing that makes her unrelateable.
Anyway, it is hard to be creative when you're busy thinking dark thoughts about the publishing industry. And certainly I had plenty of other writing to keep me busy. So I kept going on my round-robin of dipping into different novel ideas.
But the truth is, I was driving myself crazy. I wanted to be deeply engrossed in writing a novel again. Yet I couldn't manage to make it happen.
Until a couple weeks ago, when my coach challenged me to move forward on this issue. She suggested I ask for guidance. I was to ask the universe for a project that felt good and authentic to me, would be fun to write and yet also easy to sell (might as well, right?)
And so I did. When I walked, I asked for a novel idea. When I did dishes, I asked for a novel idea. When I showered, I asked for a novel idea. I really, really wanted an idea for a novel.
Cue my other ongoing project, office organization. Sorting through files, I realized I had lots of them full of notes for various truncated novel ideas. So I made a stack of them and started reading through, with an open mind. The very first one, a forgotten idea with some rough notes from several years ago, made my heart pound.
And when I read over the notes I had in that file, I identified my problem. I'd not done any prep work for the novel! Worse, I'd not done it for any of my poor stunted novel ideas. No wonder I was spinning like the Mac pinwheel when I set out to work on them. Oh, I'd started preparing character dossiers and plot outlines. But something always pulled me away from it, and off I'd go attempting to write. Which is like building a house without a foundation.
The thing is, I know better. I've given lectures on how to write a novel in 30 days, which is dependent on having some pretty damn solid prep work in place before you get started. I exhort my students to get to know their characters and write up at least a loose plot outline before getting started. I blog about these topics!
But I think I've lost my center as I've been in the process of marketing my previous novel. If anything can make you feel unsure of yourself, its submitting work to agents. And beyond that, has been the lack of closure. I'm not certain where I'm going with the original novel and that lack of certainty has made it hard to move forward.
Because I'm on it, baby! I've committed to working the idea that made my heart flutter, no matter what happens with Emma Jean and no matter where this new novel takes me. Which means that the next step is some serious novel prep work. And, since I generally blog about what's on my writing mind, that means I'm going to spend the next two posts (Wednesday and Friday) on this topic.
I'm excited. Nothing better than getting to work on a new project.
Chime in! I'd love to hear your thoughts on starting a new fiction project.