How You Can Gain Weight While Writing!

Chocolate_stack_snack_239996_lIt's everyone's goal to gain a little weight, right?  Well here's the good news: your writing practice can help you with weight gain.  It is so effective that it is akin to a magic pill for weight gain!  How can you make the magic happen?  Below are some top ideas gleaned from many years of trial and error experimentation (I did the work so you don't have to.  No need to thank me.)

 1.  Reward yourself with food.  Grab a brownie when you've reached your word count.  Better yet, grab two.  Or put ice cream and chocolate sauce atop your brownie and make it into a sundae.  

2.  Snack while you're writing.  But please, no fruit or veggies!   An open bag of cheetos is a good starting point.  Or try chips, kettle corn, M and Ms, Hershey's Kisses.

3.  Frequent fast food joints.  You don't want to take time from you work so your best bet is to hit McDonald's or Wendy's where you can grab a burger fast.  Add french fries to your order for bonus pounds.

4.  Fuel up with sweet caffeinated drinks.  Starbucks has a good area of these–lattes with sweet flavorings added, mochas, and when it gets warmer–Frappucinos!  Be sure to ask for whipped cream and an extra drizzle of sweetness.  

5.  Drink pop all day long.  If coffee doesn't float your boat, you're going to need something to keep you going.  Soda pop is a great idea for this.  The regular ones are loaded with sugar, which is a great attribute, but even the diet versions goof with your metabolism and help you gain weight.  It's a win-win!

6.  Don't exercise.  Forget your morning yoga routine–get right to your writing.  Afternoon walk? Uh-uh.  It won't add pounds and it will take you away from your writing.

7.  Don't get up regularly.  It is far, far better to get so engrossed in your work so that you sit for long hours without ever getting up.  

Those are some practices that have helped me with weight gain. Do you have any to contribute?

Photo by Whizzy.

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10 Responses to How You Can Gain Weight While Writing!

  1. J.D. 01/28/2014 at 04:29 #

    Started at the gym on January 1. All this stuff is a mystery to me. I seem to vaguely recall such problems. Now (ripping my shirt open to reveal a big FW on my underwear) I am Fit Writer!!

  2. Charlotte Dixon 01/28/2014 at 05:32 #

    You are a disgrace to the rest of us, Fit Writer! But carry on, we can shoulder the burden of the unfit.

    Sent from my iPad

  3. Maryse 01/28/2014 at 09:55 #

    Hahaha! Yes, snacking while writing is the best. I love nuts and carrots but that’s only because refined sugar doesn’t agree with me otherwise, I’d be there with cookies and hot chocolate. :)

  4. Zan Marie 01/28/2014 at 10:06 #

    LOL! That’s the truth. And why my house has *no* candy, chips, or crackers in it. None. All I need are a few cashews and a cup of hot tea. Go, Fit Writers, Go!

  5. Charlotte Dixon 01/28/2014 at 16:43 #

    And you know sugar is so much better at making us fat!

    Sent from my iPad

  6. Charlotte Dixon 01/28/2014 at 16:47 #

    Oh you Fit Writers are disgusting.  Give me potato chips and candy any day!

    Sent from my iPad

  7. Kayla Dawn Thomas 01/28/2014 at 19:19 #

    Sounds like you’re onto something. You should make an infomercial!

  8. Charlotte Dixon 01/29/2014 at 06:01 #

    I could be a star!

    Sent from my iPad

  9. Don Williams 01/30/2014 at 20:17 #

    I don’t drink pop, but I’m guilty of the others points and the bathroom scales prove it! Just call be el-fatso from now on.

  10. Charlotte Dixon 01/31/2014 at 07:30 #

    Well and don't forget that just sitting all the time helps too!

    Sent from my iPhone

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