I'm leaving for Nashville tomorrow, and I don't want to go. 
I do really, because I'm the "book doctor" at Room to Write and there are going to be a dozen fabulous writers there. And I'm going to see lots of friends. Stay on the beautiful Scarritt Bennett campus and then with my friend Candace. Get a lot of writing done.
But at the moment, everything is going wrong and I don't want to go.
When I leave Nashville for Portland next week, I won't want to leave Nashville.
I've gotten used to this push and pull of emotion before I leave for a trip. It always happens. I think of all the reasons I shouldn't go and long just to be at home. Which is really just a silly illusion because I adore going to Nashville for all the above reasons.
So, its separation anxiety. And the only thing there is to do about it is live through it.
Like so many things in life. And writing, come to think of it. Rejection comes to mind.
What do you get anxious over, either in writing or in life?
Terry
Hey Charlotte! I totally get this and experience the same thing when on the brink of any trip, especially when I travel alone. The temperatures should be in the 70’s so maybe that will help a bit with the anxiety! Safe travels, friend. See you at the Room to Write!
Charlotte Dixon
Glad I’m not the only one, Terr. I guess those temps mean I need to get a pedicure, my feet have not seen the sun and air in months. Can’t wait to see you!
Charlotte Dixon
Oh, J.D., I hear you. Our business is really tough these days and sometimes it is hard to keep the faith. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve decided just to ditch it. But then, as you said, a new character appears in my brain, or I get the perfect idea about how to rewrite a scene and I’m back at it again. I think people like us are stuck, we just like it too much.
Thanks for the lyrics, those are right on. And I wish you were going to be at Room to Write! Maybe in October?
J.D.
Charlotte, I wish I was joining you. I looked at pictures of the campus. It is beautiful. No need to agonize. I am busy finishing a rewrite. Even while I am wrapping that sucker up, I’m thinking about the new character that came to me about 4 weeks ago. Then I thought, “Do I really want to do this again?” What if my book is not accepted? Do I want to put all this time in again. Shouldn’t I be diving deeply into hedonism instead of frustrating myself, attempting to wring six words an hour out of my stingy brain? But I don’t know that I want to stop, or that I can stop. Sometimes I feel like I’m kidding myself and other times I feel so close (and Charlotte, you are closer than me). Just as I was contemplating ditching my frigid lover, writing, I found these lyrics from Paolo Nutini:
Sure I can accept that we’re going nowhere
But one last time let’s go there.
Maryse
Wishing you a safe and joyful trip, Charlotte. All will be well!
I won’t go into what make me anxious because it really does not help me. I choose to get excited about traveling, about my children growing up, and about enjoying my life! :)
Charlotte Dixon
Thanks, Maryse! I made it safe and sound and all is so far well. I’m sure your good thoughts helped.
Patrick Ross
I can’t say I get anxious over business travel, but for several years there I was on the road so much I guess it became routine. What I was always anxious about was being separated from my wife and kids, so I became quite artful at being able to minimize my time in the location I was visiting, even if it was a place I loved.
I’d ensure I had one afternoon or evening for fun (seeing old friends, exploring a new museum), buckle down the rest of the time, and then hurry home. Oh, and I’d usually treat myself to one indulgent room-service order!
Charlotte Dixon
Hi Patrick, I love indulgent room-service orders! I also love staying in hotels, so much so that I think I lived full-time in one in a previous life. Where I’m staying now is a former dorm room, so no room service for me. But I do have a gorgeous campus complete with labyrinth and trees in full bloom to wander about. Plus, it is sunny here and for that reason alone I’m in heaven.
Giulietta the Muse
Hey Charlotte,
Hope you enjoy your trip to Nashville.
I get excited before I leave on a trip. But also more OCDish because of all the security stuff. I keep checking to make sure my passport didn’t disappear or my license. On a trip a few years ago I kept checking to make sure that I didn’t lose my license to the point where I almost did lose it. It flipped out of my wallet after a “triple check” and unbeknownst to me slid down the car seat.
Of course, a few hours later when I had to check again and didn’t find it, I went into double crazy mode. Then I found it.
The entire airport security stuff makes me so crazy that I sometimes do things like leave my backpack “unattended” after taking my shoes off and having to come back through the metal detector.
Learned craziness!
G.
Charlotte Dixon
Giulietta, I hear you about the security. On one of my trips to Nashville a year or so ago I got to the airport and realized my driver’s license was not in my wallet. Horrors! And then it occurred to me I’d taken it out and put it in a jacket pocket so that I could leave my purse at home. Had to send my husband home to get the driver’s license, and luckily, he was able to quickly find it!
ayala
i hope you have an amazing trip!
Charlotte Dixon
Thanks, Ayala, I’m drawing to the end of it and so far it has been amazing!